Endangered Stories TM

     If Married couples were put on the endangered species list what would it look like?  What kind of restrictions would we put on people.  Would we eradicate internet porn?  Would we make every for of media Rated G?  What about the last 100-200 years changed so much that we may never hear and see stories like those of our grandparents ever again after their generation dies? 

     I was born in Norman, Oklahoma a peaceful university town in the state which is rated one of the top divorce states year after year in the nation with the highest divorce rate in the world.  When you google divorce and statistics I am willing to bet Oklahoma will be a subject in many of the articles you pull up and my family has been a broken one.  The thing is that in 2001, after a campaign to bring that rate down, governor Frank Keating was successful in doing so.  I doubt it will be permanent but the fact is that there are things that may change the rate in which we are unsuccessful in our relationship goals. 

     In my studies on the matter of the relationships in my life and my skills at maintaining them I gained a lot of tools.  One of my favorites has been a 4 step apology process which includes the following steps:  1.  Acknowledgement of error.  2.  Apology for my errors.  3.  Amends, what can I do to make amends?  4.  Recommitment. 

     My relationships past and present are very important to me and I want to make them right whenever humanly possible and am willing to take extraordinary measures to do so.  This website is an attempt at a huge verbal and non-verbal statement that I get it, I have goofed in my whole  style of doing things and I want apologize, understand and recommit to being a better guy and creating a better culture. 

     By 1840 the U.S. was leading the way in both, divorce rates and romantic love marriage ideals in the world.  Between 1880 and 1890 we experienced a 70% increase in divorce. In 1891 a Cornell professor predicted that if trends continued by 1980 marriage would end more often in divorce than by death. He was off by only 10 years....   From, Marriage, a History:  From Obedience to Intimacy; or, How Love Conquered Marriage.  By Stephanie Coontz.  Great book, everyone should read it. A passionate argument does NOT make something right.

      This website is the beginning of my endeavor to collect  those beautiful and ever more rare accounts of lifelong marriage as promised in so many vows.  Now our culture is more fighting and daytime TV shows involving paternity tests and judges having to tell people that if they were cheaters before they married they should not have married.

      In my job I enjoy going into people’s houses who are in the later part of their life and from a generation where it was common for people to uphold their vows.  I get a tour with all the effects they have accumulated documenting their life together and realize that one day it will all be gone and we will be left with the screwed up stories of mine and my parent’s generation. 

     Personally, I made a vow in high school church that I would not have premarital sex.  As with so many in my culture I have not been able to uphold that promise and therefore why should I believe I could uphold the promise of not cheating when a beautiful woman approaches me?   This is a horrible thing and I worry about it everyday.  My intent is that this will at the least make me more mindful and at the best be a force for change. 

 

      I know all too well that it is not just about knowing how things should go.   I am also sure that many a person has felt the same great frustration I have. The sick feeling knowing how to say, Till death do us part as flippantly as we apparently do now. 

100 years ago courtship was supervised and men came a calling as my great-grandmother told us.  Apparently, there was not a situation when the couple were granted as much freedom as we are now in which to make such foolish choices. 

 

This project need never, and hopefully will never, be done.  In fact my hope is that some day the endangered part of the title will be outdated.  Until that time I am collecting stories of marriage of 40 or more years and the details of how they worked so well.

What do you think?

Please send your stories and thoughts on actual lifelong love to:  email@endangeredstories.com

Soon the stories link will work and there will be a place to insert your stories.  For now, email them to me and I will do it. 

As of yet the book is unfinished but a hard copy should be available to purchase in a few months  and is in the process of being a trademarked series.  Your help is greatly appreciated in submitting your story you are giving me permission to post it.   There is no need to post detailed information which would permit invasions of your privacy, the basic story is what we are looking for on this site.